Cutting your ‘warmup sentences’

When I was a journalist, one of the tricks I was taught was to delete the first sentence of the article I was writing. That’s because that first sentence is often a “warmup sentence.” It’s a sentence you write just to get into your story and into the flow. It’s that second sentence that’s usually much stronger and the true start of the story.

I was reminded of this while reading a post from Roselyn Teukolsky, the author of A Reluctant Spy. While attending Mystery Writers of America University, novelist Hallie Ephron advised her to “cut out the first two paragraphs of every scene” in her novel.

From Perseverance by Roselyn Teukolsky

Since novels are so much longer than articles, it makes sense that it might take extra time to get into the flow of a chapter or scene. I definitely experienced that in spades when writing chapter 1 of the first book of my dystopian sci-fi trilogy.

During the fourth revision, I cut about 1,500 words from the opening chapter, with most of that coming right off the top. That’s right, the true beginning of my novel was buried under 1,500 words of unnecessary exposition that included two characters that are never seen again.

There’s nothing wrong with writing warmup sentences—or warmup paragraphs or pages. They’re often a necessary part of the writing process. The trick is to identify them during revisions and cut them.


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Is it okay to use emojis in books?

Better yet: Is it wise to use emojis in books?

My dystopian sci-fi trilogy has an AI character that routinely uses emojis as part of its digital dialogue, and in the first book, it uses the nine emojis highlighted below. It’s one of the things that makes his dialogue unique.

But after writing it, I wondered if there were downsides to using emojis in books. After some research, here are some key issues people brought up, plus my thoughts:

  1. Books are printed in black, with few exceptions. This does make emojis less visually appealing, and perhaps less recognizable, too.
  2. The need to license an emoji font. I was initially using Segoe UI Emoji, which definitely has to be licensed. However, I found a comparable Google Font, Noto Emoji. All Google Fonts are open source, so I made the switch.
  3. Longevity and dating a book. Emojis are definitely a product of their time. That can be both good and bad. Emojis are a big part of casual modern communication, so they’d help reinforce a 2010’s and 2020’s setting. Beyond that, though, I’d argue that some emojis have well-established meanings that are likely to persist. For instance, it’s hard for me to imagine the eggplant emoji’s meaning changing at this point. It’s also difficult to imagine emojis falling out of the lexicon anytime soon, as language tends toward brevity and ease, something that’s evident with slang today.
  4. Clarity and shifting meanings. My eggplant emoji example aside, there are plenty of instances where the meaning of an emoji has changed. Also, a reader may not even be aware of the meaning of well-established emojis, especially if they’re from another culture. However, is that any different from a reader encountering a word or pop culture reference they’re unfamiliar with? As long as it’s not an overly frequent occurrence, they’ll just guess at the meaning by using context clues and move on. The same will be true for unfamiliar emojis.
  5. Audio book verbalization. If you’re doing an audio book version, this is definitely something to consider. Some emojis have cumbersome names, and that’s in addition to having to say “emoji” after each name. However, why not exercise some creative license? For instance, in the Noto Emoji font, the eggplant emoji is called “Aubergine.” But in the audio book script, I’ll just specify that it be called “eggplant emoji.” Same thing with Noto Emoji’s “Fisted Hand Sign,” which I’ll change to “fist bump emoji” in the script for greater clarity.

While those are all reasons to be thoughtful and constrained in your use of emojis, none of those are reasons to eliminate emojis from your writer’s toolbox. In the first book of my trilogy, emojis represented fewer than 20 characters out of more than 420,000 characters. That seems pretty constrained, while adding some levity and characterization.


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6 ways stories are NOT like real life

Ignoring the fantastical elements of sci-fi, fantasy, and horror, striving for realism in stories is seen as a must. After all, anything that breaks the rules of your world and of human behavior is likely to jar readers out of your story. That said, stories shouldn’t be too much like real life, because unfiltered real life doesn’t generally make for good stories. Here are 6 ways that’s true:

1. Characters

Many writers base some of their characters on real-life people, including themselves. That’s obviously fine, and probably unavoidable. But too much fidelity invites problems (besides potential libel suits), because characters are meant to be so much better than real people.

“A character is no more a human being than the Venus de Milo is a real woman,” says Robert McKee in Story. “A character is a work of art, a metaphor for human nature. We relate to characters as if they were real, but they’re superior to reality. Their aspects are designed to be clear and knowable; whereas our fellow humans are difficult to understand, if not enigmatic.”

I have 25 pages of notes on the characters in my dystopian sci-fi trilogy, including more than a page about each of the major characters. They’re detailed, but all the details create an intentional effect, with no extraneous information to distract.

2. Dialogue

When you’re trying to improve your dialogue, eavesdropping on people in public isn’t nearly as educational as you might think, as Deborah Chester points out in The Fantasy Fiction Formula.

“The trouble is that most real-life conversation is meaningless, aimless social chatter,” she says. “It seldom gets to the point. It’s frequently boring, especially to listeners who aren’t participating. Real-life talk is filled with pauses, fumbling for words, fragments, gaps supplemented with gestures, and slang. When you try to copy any of that too closely in your fiction, you may find yourself stalled. Aimless dialogue keeps scenes from developing properly. Plots can’t move forward. The pacing lags.”

As a former journalist, I learned this lesson long ago. Even when you’re interviewing someone or they’re presenting on stage, unless they’re highly practiced, what they say is often full of imprecision, with lots of starts and stops and tangents, which is generally fine and doesn’t hurt basic comprehension. But we have much higher standards when it comes to the written word.

3. Accents

Related to dialogue, accents can be a real momentum killer—even a bit of a book killer. For instance, I’m a fan of Iain M. Banks’ sci-fi novels about the Culture, an advanced interstellar civilization. I’ve read almost all of them, except for Feersum Endjinn. It’s sitting on my bookshelf with a bookmark at the start of chapter 4. That’s as far as I could make it, because one of the POV characters speaks phonetically and it was just too much effort to slog through. Based on reviews, I wasn’t the only one that struggled with it.

So, take the advice of Hallie Ephron, who says in Creating Characters that “More than a touch of phonetically rendered dialect can be distracting and difficult to decipher. Not only that, dialect can turn character into caricature. Use the occasional phonetic version of a phrase to give the reader the flavor of how a character sounds, but do so sparingly. Trust the reader to mentally apply what you suggest to the remaining dialogue.”

In my sci-fi novel, I use dialect very sparingly, instead relying on other speech patterns and word choices to differentiate characters, as well as some local colloquialisms. I found Russian colloquialisms to be among the most amusing, including “balls of a swan,” which is an expression of surprise and disbelief. I also have a character who’s routinely drunk and he slurs his words, but his sentences are short and there’s plenty of context to move things along. 

4. Signal-to-noise ratio

Most people’s lives are full of lots of conversations and events that don’t have much or any impact on their lives. The lives of characters have to be much tighter, with a very high signal-to-noise ratio.

“Our assumption is that if we don’t need to know it, the writer won’t waste precious time telling us about it,” says Lisa Cron in Wired for Story. “We trust that each piece of information, each event, each observation, matters … If it turns out that it doesn’t matter, we do one of two things: (1) we lose interest, or (2) we try to invent a consequence or meaning. This only postpones our loss of interest, which is then mingled with annoyance, because we invested energy trying to figure out what the writer was getting at, when the truth is, she wasn’t getting at anything.”

This is where editing comes in, and can be painful. This is where we kill our darlings that aren’t pulling their weight.

5. Clear goals

In real life, people’s goals are often unclear—sometimes even to themselves. But in stories, readers need to know what the protagonist is trying to achieve. Knowing the antagonist’s goal is also helpful.

“When our protagonist has a strong goal,” said Cae Hawksmoor in a recent issue of her Pagewake newsletter, “it’s like entering a destination into the GPS of our story. All of a sudden, the readers know where they’re going and can judge the main character’s progress.”

Of course, goals can change. In my trilogy, the goals of my three main characters change from book to book, as well as throughout each book as their circumstances change (generally for the worse). In Robert McKee’s Dialogue, he would refer to those more short-term goals as motivations or scene intentions. However, the core long-term need of each of my main characters doesn’t change over the course of the series. McKee refers to that as their super-intention.

6. Nothing is by Chance

The human experience is intensely random. One of the reasons people read books is to escape that randomness. Readers like to see worlds that are orderly and follow rules, and characters who are able to exert some control. And while bad things can sometimes happen randomly, readers really don’t like it when good things happen randomly. “Deux ex machina!” they’ll cry. Readers want to see characters as the change-agents of their own lives and the lives of others. They don’t want to see acts of god.

Generally for the better, my characters make choices that have big impacts on those around them and ultimately the world. Those choices often come at a great personal cost. 


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The even more alarming stat underlying the big decline in reading for fun

Chart from the Financial Times showing a decline in reading for fun over the past two decades and a consistently low rate of parents reading to children

The percentage of Americans reading for pleasure fell 40% from 2003 to 2023, according to a new study, published in the journal iScience, that relied on data from the American Time Use Survey. While that’s an alarming trend, especially for novelists and aspiring novelists, the number that stunned me was how few parents are reading to their children.

In The New York Times’ story (gift article) reporting on the study, they said:

“The researchers also found that, while more than 20% of people surveyed had a child under 9 years old, only 2% of those surveyed read with a child—a finding that stayed largely flat throughout the study period but that could contribute to further declines in adult reading going forward, the researchers said.”

Our Favorite Children’s Books

As the parent who stayed home and worked remote part-time when our kids were young, I read to my boys all the time. But some books were more tedious than others to read for the 50th time. So, for parents and would-be parents who are looking for some great books, I wanted to share the books that we saved to read to our eventual (🤞) grandchildren.

The children’s books we’ve saved to read to our eventual grandchildren

You can see that we have a soft spot for the Elephant and Piggie book series by Mo Willems. You can pretty much pick one of those at random and be happy.

We’re also fans of Dr. Seuss, especially since we lived in Dr. Seuss’s hometown of Springfield when our kids were little. We routinely took our kids to Forest Park Zoo, where Dr. Seuss’s father was a curator. We also regularly drove past the factory that inspired the one in The Lorax

A few other standouts for me were:

  • Press Here by Herve Tullet
  • Dragons Love Tacos by Adam Rubin and Daniel Salmieri
  • The Day the Crayons Quit by Drew Daywalt and Oliver Jeffers
  • The Pout-Pout Fish by Deborah Diesen and Dan Hanna
  • Not a Box by Antoinette Portis
  • Bear in Love by Daniel Pinkwater and Will Hillenbrand
  • Stuck by Oliver Jeffers
  • The Book with No Pictures by B. J. Novak

Happy reading!

My wife Kate reading to our youngest, who’s now a teenager

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How to generate writing momentum

Writing is hard. It’s gratifying to finish a scene or chapter you’re really proud of, but all the time spent getting up to that moment is difficult. As Stephen King argues in his book, On Writing, completing a novel is a game of momentum. That’s why when he starts on a new novel, he has a strict schedule where he dedicates himself to finishing the book in 3 months or so by writing and editing many hours each day.

I remember being incredibly despondent when I read that. I’m glad that Stephen King has the ability to do that, but I don’t. I’m not a multi-millionaire. To help support my family, I have a full-time job, which I happen to really like. And I have 3 kids, two of which are still at home, and one of which has special needs. Between therapy for kid 1 and piano lessons and jazz band for kid 2, and then making dinner and taking care of the house and myself, I’m feeling pretty fortunate if I have 2 hours a day to write on an average weeknight. Plus, I dedicate one entire evening a week to spending time exclusively with my wife, which I think has served our 19-year marriage very well. 

Weekends are usually better for writing, but there’s still a lot to balance—and I want to balance all of those things because they’re all important.

But the issue of momentum remains. I do agree with Stephen King that it’s important to have it, and if you can’t get it by going fast, then there’s only one other way to get it. Since momentum is velocity times mass, scientifically speaking, the other way to generate momentum is to have mass. Literarily speaking, that means you need to have an idea you’re really passionate about.

Honestly, I didn’t have that in college which is when I attempted to write my first novel. It was about 40 space colonists who all collectively have the same dream over and over of landing on their target planet and setting up their colony ahead of others arriving years later. It was a way of using the cryosleep for training, so that when they finally arrive they’ll be incredibly well-trained and efficient. But one of the colonists falls in love with another and is rebuffed by them. Spurned, the colonist acts out by killing all of the colonists, causing the cryosleep simulation to reset. Long story short, this pattern repeats itself over and over to the point that the spurned colonist doesn’t realize it when they actually arrive on the planet and continues their killing spree, dooming the colony. Pretty dark, I know.

Despite working on it for many months, I never finished it—partially because I got bogged down in the mushy middle—but more so I think because I never had a strong stake in the story. It was an interesting idea, but there wasn’t anything uniquely me in it. And at the time, I don’t think I had the emotional maturity to be introspective enough to make that kind of investment.

More than a decade later, I was at a digital marketing conference and one of the inspirational speakers was Robin Roberts. She was great and her main point was to encourage people to use their personal struggles for good. She said, “Make your mess your message.”

It’s taken me a while to act on that, but that’s what I’m trying to do now with my novels. The dystopian sci-fi trilogy I’m working on is inspired by my daughter, Samantha, who would be 18 years old if she were alive today. We lost her in the third trimester when my wife suffered a splenic artery aneurysm, which means the artery to her spleen exploded.

When that happens, it’s fatal to the baby 90% of the time and fatal to the mother 70% of time. My wife got very lucky. Our daughter didn’t.

My sci-fi trilogy is about a family decades in the future that suffers a similar loss, but the daughter that is thought to be lost isn’t dead. While separated from her parents, she lives and becomes—after many struggles—a badass. She’s the heroine of my story and, together with her partner, she saves the world from a horrible fate.

The other novel ideas I’m developing have equally personal cores that drive those stories and drive me to finish them, too. Thanks for joining me on this journey.


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Join me on my writer’s journey from nonfiction to fiction

Hello, everyone! I’m an aspiring novelist looking to connect with avid readers and other writers, especially in the genres of science fiction and fantasy. On this blog, I’ll discuss writing and publishing, and share the ups and downs of my writer’s journey to get my first novel published.

A little about my debut in-progress novel: I’ve made things extra hard on myself by making my first effort a 3-book dystopian sci-fi series set in a war-torn near future. My two heroes are new adults (18 and 19 years old) and the story revolves around them finding their places in a world where the two global superpowers are in an uneasy peace. The story also revolves around our two heroes finding each other and coming to terms with their broken families.

A little about me: I’m a tech industry veteran and former journalist who’s written five non-fiction books about digital marketing. As part of my day job, I’ve also written nearly 4,000 blog posts and articles about marketing, AI, and other topics. I’ll occasionally talk about my non-fiction book writing experiences, as those have given me the confidence to take on novel writing.


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